THROUGH HIS GRACE

It all begins with the Sacraments of Initiation: Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation. These are the foundation of the Christian life, and, in time, I hope to explore each of the seven sacraments here on this website.

For now, however, I want to focus on the Sacrament of Matrimony and, in particular, on married Catholics and those preparing for marriage. I believe men, especially, are called to rise up within the community of the faithful and reclaim their God-given role as spiritual leaders in their homes. Fathers are called to be the primary catechists of their children, faithfully handing on the Catholic faith with conviction, accuracy, and love.

This is the primary audience I have in mind. As a husband and father myself, I know how difficult it can be to live the faith consistently and to pass it on with fidelity in today's world. Modern culture presents many challenges that can discourage men from embracing their vocation as husbands, fathers, and leaders. My hope is to spend time exploring the Sacrament of Matrimony, helping men better understand its meaning and live it more fully within their families.

My goal is to offer a simple catechesis on marriage by handing on what has been handed down to me: a faith-centered way of life rooted in the teachings of the Church. While not every man is called to marriage, those who are should recognize it for what it truly is a covenental sacrament in other words a path to holiness. When lived faithfully, marriage becomes one of the most profound ways a man can fulfill his vocation and lead his family toward Christ.

I hope to present the teaching of the Catholic Church on marriage in a way that can support your walk of faith and help you and your spouse, if you are married, keep God at the center of your family life. Be the man God is calling you to become. We are all on different journeys and at different stages of our faith, and God has a plan for everyone, but the family is at the center of God's hope for us as His people. It is the war of the age that is against us, so prepare yourself and dig in prepared to defend your family against the onslaught of evils in our society that is fiercely against it. It is up to you to stand firm and defend your family against the evil one. You are called as a son of God, and to a priestly and prophetic role, and to the extent you participate in Christ's kingship you have a marital covenantal role that allows you to fully live out your vocation in Christ. May God bless you in that.

God's Foreshadowing Plans

This is me and my soon-to-be wife the day before we were married, way back in 2008. This picture was taken on the day of our engagement celebration at what was then my place of work. At that time, I worked in the film and television industry and was blessed to have been surrounded by good and faithful Christians living out their faith in ways that I was just beginning to learn about.

I knew very little about Catholicism at that point in time. In fact, that was about a year prior to me ever even stepping foot in a Catholic church. You bet my wife sure was surprised a couple of years after we had gotten married that I was becoming Catholic.

We had a lot to learn, and we are still learning. All I can say is God works in mysterious ways that you can’t even imagine, ways that would astonish you. But here we are today, and in a few weeks, at the time of writing this, we will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. Eighteen years later we are still learning about each other and how to better live our lives for each other. This is the process of learning to be more self-less every day and it is hard; the most challenging thing for the human person to put the other above the self.

I think God wants all of us to be His examples of faith and discipleship, so that we can build each other up and reach out to a struggling world by showing an example of the Holy Family (Jesus Christ, Mary, and Joseph) reflected in our marriage. At least that is the hope.

So with that said, what follows below is what I hope will be a catechesis on marriage for all those who are preparing to enter into it, just starting out, or even those who might consider themselves relative experts and simply wish to reflect and review.

Marriage is God ordained

Marriage is neither a human invention, a mere societal construct, nor a simple civil institution. Rather, the bond of marriage is established in openness to God’s providential plan for those called to the Sacrament of Matrimony. From the beginning, the creation of man and woman was ordained by God. The blessing of marriage is a gift from our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom all men and women are created. It is God’s endowment upon creation that humanity should bear, in its very image, the vision of the “Wedding Feast of the Lamb.”

The Wedding Feast refers to Christ and His Church with communion at the center, and spouses are called to participate in that same kind of covenantal relationship. The Sacrament of Matrimony mirrors this divine communion with God and man. It is through the Sacrament of Matrimony that God works to bring married couples closer to himself through their relationship with one another. Our relationship with God is reflected in our relationship with our spouse, and in turn, the way we love our spouse shapes and deepens our relationship with God.

The verse from Scripture, "Let us rejoice and exult and give Him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His Bride has made herself ready" (Revelation 19:7), speaks first of the Church herself. It points to the holy communion between Christ and His Bride, the Church. This is the meaning of the "Wedding Feast of the Lamb." The Lamb is Christ, who takes away the sins of the world through His sacrifice on the Cross. Marriage is like this in that married couples must sacrifice for one another, participating in marriage sacramentally like that of Christ's sacrifice that gives us Holy Communion. Through marriage, man is made whole in Christ, bringing about greater unity between Christ and His Church.

God intends for all marriages to realize this divine origin and end; when difficulties arise from sin, we must seek our renewal in Jesus Christ. It is within this Covenant with Christ that we are recognized as His adopted children and members of the Church. We constitute His body, and our marriages unite us in Him. Thus, we do not merely marry another individual; rather, through Christ, we receive the vocation of marriage. Jesus stands at the center, bonding and uniting spouses through the blood of the New Covenant. It is by the grace of God that the "two become one" and share in the life established by the Creator. As the Catechism states, “The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (CCC 1603).

These vows of conjugal chastity and purity lead ultimately to the fruitful intention of God’s unfailing love that will lead to a life blessed with mutual affection and children. It is the Word of God who commanded, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it,” signifying that we are heirs to His Kingdom called to fulfill His design.

Marriage is in many ways like one’s relationship with God. How we interact with our spouse is often how we interact with God. If I fail to trust my wife, that is in many ways like saying I am failing to trust God. This is because God is above our marriages. God ordained it. God sponsors it. God protects it.

Having faith and trust in God within one’s marriage means offering up to Him all the struggles and hardships that come along with it. You can look to Scripture and to the Church for support, because God has created this community of the faithful to do just that, to help support one another.

That is one of the primary purposes of the Body of Christ: that believers come together in unity for the betterment of the community and all the faithful, especially families. This is one of the reasons Catholic schools can be so important in raising one’s children in the faith. Many have even turned to homeschool communities because in the world today, well, if you are reading this you probably already know about our public schools and the secular sphere in which we live.

My recommendation to you is to break free from all of the noise and find ways to help your family build a strong foundation in Christ. That means being involved in your Catholic parish or whatever form of Christianity you practice. Find a community and rely on them. They will help you.

Typology and Salvation History

I think the reason marriages have so much trouble in our modern world is because man has forgotten that God has joined them together as one. Yes, they are still two separate people, but they are one, so when one suffers, the other suffers as well. 

One of the things God does is show us the way through His Son, Jesus, as the New Adam, and Mary as the New Eve. This is the hallmark of Christian marriage: that man is called to be like Christ, and woman is called to be like Mary. This is where obedience to God comes in, and it is evident in Sacred Scripture; Mary’s yes and Christ’s sacrifice. Through her fiat, Mary brings into the world her only begotten Son, Jesus, who is the New Adam and who takes away the sins of the world. He is obedient to God in all things, even unto death. And so when He gives His life for us, He renews us in the faith through grace, and that grace helps us live a Christ-centered marriage.

The Holy Scriptures affirm that what God has joined, no man shall separate. The woman is "flesh of his flesh," his equal, and his nearest in all things, is given to man by God. Eve, created as wife and mother to the living, prefigures the "New Eve," Mary. It is Mary who brings into the world the "New Adam," Jesus, to renew and rebirth humanity from sin. When viewing the entirety of Salvation History, we see Jesus at the center, with marriage, matrimony, and love as its fruits.

God intended us to marry so that we might be renewed not only in the institution of matrimony but in His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. It is through Jesus that the two become one, just as Mary’s womb facilitated the renewal of man. The Triune love of mother, father, and child, unified by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, represents the joining of the Divine Family with the domestic family. The Church, through the Eucharist and God’s presence, remains the "source and summit" of all Christian life. By adhering to this, we steer clear of the secular culture, the self, and the adversary, uniting ourselves instead with His one true family: the Holy Catholic Church.

It's Not Good Out There

Look, we live in a very sinful world. My son was telling me the other day how he feels like the darkness is escalating, and that in many ways it has been escalating ever since the Fall. I look around and I can’t help but notice, especially here in Southern California, that people’s behavior and appearance often mirror the growing blindness in the world.

It’s sad to say, but the quest for attention in our modern world is really something, to say the least. Much of it is unnecessary. The only attention one should truly seek is God’s, above all else. Yet today, in the social fabric of America especially on social media that is far from the case.

It is as if the self has become paramount, and everything else flows from that—whatever the self wants, the self gets. At least that’s how it appears. And I think this leads many people into temptation and sin, because the world around us is so fallen and confused, and people are searching for the wrong things in all the wrong places.

We would do better to look back in time to an era where men were men and women were women. At some point we have to grow up and face the fact that our kids need mentors and our communities need father figures. What is evident—and what the Catechism itself reminds us—is that man has a natural concupiscence to sin. Human beings are prone to it.

So the real question becomes: what are you going to do about it in your marriage? Because our society is not on your side.

The Reality of Sin and the Necessity of Grace

“Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationship between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation” (CCC 1606).

The statistics are sobering: with upwards of 30% of American Catholics ending their marriages, and nearly one in two marriages in the United States ending in divorce, the crisis is evident. Families are devastated; children witnessing the dissolution of the family suffer not only emotional upheaval but a disordered notion of family life and of God Himself. However, the demands of marriage and family, when yoked in Christ, are light, for the burdens are placed upon the Holy Father on whom we rely. Without God and prayer, marriages are vulnerable to temptation. While the warmth of natural love may fade slowly over time, the stress of finances, the balancing of work and family life, and the unmet needs of spouses begin to wear upon the heart. Loneliness and desolation can set in during these struggles. The world, the self, and Satan seek to detract, tempt, and divide until the relationship is torn asunder.

This is the reality of a world without Christ and a marriage without Christ; even the most devout struggle to attain a purely selfless marriage. Despite God’s good creation, man introduced sin, changing God’s gift into a relationship often marked by domination and lust (cf. CCC 1607). Therefore, the necessity for robust marriage preparation cannot be ignored and neither should ongoing marital support through truly Christ centered ministries.

Some of the Problems in our World Today

I don’t know how a family can survive in this fallen world without God’s grace. I cannot imagine going about my daily life without God, or trying to raise a family without Him. Yet it seems like all around us many are content to dispose of God as if He were totally unnecessary—as if man can simply go his own way, doing whatever he pleases, and somehow it will all work out.

But I think it’s obvious, given the state of family life—or the lack thereof in many places—that this approach isn’t working. At least where I live, family life doesn’t always seem to be the priority. You know what often is: money. Maybe accolades, promotions, influence, or power.

And you know what all of that speaks to—pride. Yes, the most deadly sin of all. Families all over suffer because of it.

How much is enough? Did God not say not to worry about the things of the world—that today has enough trouble of its own? Of course, man has to plan, and he should plan wisely. But the egregious pursuit of wealth and fame has become something else entirely. And then people wonder why families are torn apart—why parents aren’t being parents and kids aren’t being kids.

Our world is more than willing to raise your children for you if you let it. Hand them a cell phone or an iPad, give them some cash, and send them on their way. But that’s pitiful. Parents need to be there for their kids, because nothing can make up for not raising them right. That responsibility falls on the parents.

So what do we do about it? How do we move forward? The answer is actually quite simple: repent and believe—and allow yourself to be changed through God’s grace.

Restoration in Christ

With God, all things are possible. He does not refute His will to offer mercy and love to all those who call upon Him. He stands at the door knocking; those who invite Him in will dine with Him. God must be center stage in the family and in marriage just as it were at the wedding vows, the moment of engagement, and the first gaze between husband and wife. Without Him, man and woman cannot achieve the divine love endowed by their Creator. He heals our wounds from sin and washes our feet from the failed trials of life so that we may seek redemption. As Scripture reminds us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves” (1 John 1:8).

Marriage assists us in overcoming self-absorption, egoism, and the pursuit of one’s own pleasure (cf. CCC 1609). It forms the moral conscience of a couple, guiding them away from the self so that the gift of self may be donated freely in service to the other. This mutual gift of true love embraces the trials of life, enduring them as examples of Christ’s love for the Church. This is the meaning of true matrimony: self-donation and sacrifice. Just as Christ laid Himself down in the Garden of Gethsemane, we must pick up our cross alongside Him.

Reflection on the Sacramental Renewal and the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows

This picture was taken on the day we baptized our children and renewed our wedding vows. Most significantly, it followed my wife’s full initiation into the Catholic Church; having completed the Order of Christian Initiation for Adults (OCIA), she received the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and the Holy Eucharist at Easter earlier that year.

This baptismal and vow renewal celebration coincided with the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. This feast commemorates the prophecy of Simeon, who foretold to the Blessed Virgin that her Son would be a sign of contradiction that the life of Jesus would divide people and that a sword would pierce her own soul (Luke 2:34–35). The Church understands this prophecy as the foundation of the Seven Sorrows of Mary, reflecting the profound sufferings she endured in perfect union with the life and Passion of Christ.

Marriage is not much different. Every spouse, at one time or another, will experience the suffering that comes with faith and marriage. Those who have lived this vocation over an extended period know that marriage is built on sacrifices. When God is not prioritized and people take matters into their own hands, it leads to great pain and suffering. When the domestic church, the family, fails to put God first, allowing worldly distractions and disordered priorities to enter the relationship, many fall away. Without a firm centering in Christ, the pressures of secular life can become a divisive force, threatening the sacramental unity that spouses are called to uphold.

The Sacramental Bond

In knowing and loving Christ, we come to know the full meaning of Matrimony. In Christ, marriage is defined by unity and indissolubility, revealing a love stronger than death. This relies on the Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, in whom we place our faith, hope, and charity.

Spousal vows are renewed through the “Wedding Feast of the Lamb,” celebrated daily at the Holy Mass. Here, we are reunited at Calvary, nourished by the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. This presentation of the Marriage Supper of the Lamb is precisely why the wedding ceremony is properly held within the Mass. It is the uniting of man, woman, and God. This connection is highlighted by the Wedding at Cana, where Christ performed His first public miracle. Although He told His mother, “My hour has not come,” His action confirmed that “marriage will be a sign of Christ’s presence” (CCC 1613). Just as the Eucharist reveals His presence by turning bread and wine into the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus, the nourishment of Christ’s body in the Eucharist sustains the body of the marriage through the Sacrament of Matrimony.

It is the man and woman who, as ministers of the Sacrament, enter Matrimony in the presence of Christ. By its divine nature, no man can divide what God has joined. While man can separate himself from God, a valid marriage stands eternally in the eyes of God. “Christ restores the original order of creation disturbed by sin; he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage” (CCC 1615). To live marriage is to live a life in Christ through prayer and devotion.

Together, through this divine relationship, husband and wife are united in the Holy Spirit, which binds them through self-giving, and one must always be aware of its fruitfulness and life-giving potential of the marital act. This is not only regarding offspring, but the perfect union of self-gift through the purity of love. That love is Jesus Christ, who unites us in His perfection so that ones marriage may remain unburdened by the self. In the words of Saint Paul:

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her... For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church.” (Ephesians 5:25, 31-32)

It is through a marriage founded in Christ that a man and woman reveal the Paschal Mystery within themselves by making sacrifice for one another. This is part of the process of experiencing God’s divine revelation of salvation in ones daily life through the Sacrament of Matrimony. No one can tear asunder what God has joined together, and what God has joined is made perfect in Him. If one is willing to follow God’s will, then His glory will be done through the husband and wife who put faith and grace above the self.

The Paschal Mystery and the Liturgical Life

It is the spouses who are the ministers of the Sacrament of Matrimony, who express and confer the Sacrament upon each other. It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that God seals the covenant of marriage, even for those who are not Catholic or Christian; God Himself, through the spouses, confers the marriage vows. This is often lost in modern culture: it is not simply a man and a woman who marry each other, but God who weds them together forever. Then it is through the communion of love between Christ and the Church that God's grace becomes the source of the couple's love and strength (cf. CCC 1624). The wedding celebration is defined not by human invention, but by God's design from the beginning, to make all those who enter into marriage recipients of this divine grace, whether it is accepted or not, which is usually tested over time. I do not think it is possible to actually live a strong and healthy marriage without God, so it is only to our benefit that we accept Him now and let Him enter into our lives to renew our relationship with our spouses daily.

It is the divine truth of the New Covenant that humanity is redeemed through Baptism, yes, and the Eucharist, of course, but this same divine love of God is the very foundation offered by spouses in marriage. It is what unites couples in Christ. The Catechism affirms:

"Through the spouses' offering of their own lives, they unite it to the offering of Christ for His Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist, so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but 'one body' in Christ" (CCC 1621).

This means that the two become one through the self-offering and self-gift to each other that they also experience through the Eucharist. It is through faith in Christ and communion with Him that the married couple grows in their relationship with one another, with Christ at the center. This is the hope of all Christians, and it is available to all who have entered into marriage to make God and family the priority in one's life.

This example signifies the unity of the Paschal Mystery within the Sacrament of Matrimony. Just as Mary wept at the foot of the Cross, personally experiencing the sacrifice of her beloved Son, Jesus, we too bring our sacrifices to the altar in marriage. We do this because God has saved us; even when we deny Him, He is still there for us and will never leave us. The spouses are called to the same, so that as one flesh, Christ unites even more deeply that which He has joined together, so that as one, the two experience suffering in a way that unites. All marriages grow through difficulties, and it is in overcoming them that marriages are strengthened. It is Christ, however, who makes real growth possible because of the refining power of the Holy Spirit to purify man and woman together over time.

If I think about how many times I have denied Christ in my personal walk of faith, then I must also think about how often I have denied my spouse. Marriage always reflects one's relationship with Christ, but even though I make mistakes and prioritize the wrong things in life from time to time, the Sacrament of Matrimony brings us back into right order. This is where the Sacrament of Penance also works hand in hand with us to help us along the way and aide us spiritually to continue on this journey. The sacraments are essential for spouses to grow more closely with one another (cf. CCC 1622). Even though my wife and I were not Catholic when we got married, it became a part of our lives early on and has been a continuous development, and we were fortunate to have the opportunity to renew our vows in the Church. While it can be a difficult journey becoming Catholic as an adult, it just takes some time, a commitment, and a lot of patience, and there is a lot of self-learning that takes place, and learning of the other, and it can get messy. God is always there to help clean it up if we are willing. Had we been Catholic before we got married and been serious about our faith, that would have helped us tremendously, but God has a way of working things out, and growth never ends.

An Ecclesial Aspect of Marriage

Holy Matrimony is a mutual exchange of a voluntary gift of self to the other. This is to be totally selfless, and that is hard; we all know that, which is why we need the Church to help us in this way. When "the priest or deacon receives the consent of the spouses in the name of the Church and gives the blessing of the Church," the spouses can count on this (CCC 1630). The community of the faithful will help the spouses experience God's sacramental graces through the Sacrament of Matrimony itself lived out in the Church. This is done through community and communion, and it is all one liturgical act in which one should express the fullness of the marriage vows in daily life. This is what refines us, continuing to give one's free consent to the other and to live this lifelong covenant in a way that is faithful, exclusive, indissoluble, sacramental, and full of self-giving love, family, and unity. The permanent nature of marriage is a fountain of God’s divine grace; that is why it is a Sacrament, because it gives what it signifies. The degree to which one lives out ones marriage depends on the development of faith in each individual and together as spouses they form and grow their bond in Christ through the Sacraments.

Yes, I wish I had been raised Catholic and that my wife and I would have been Catholic before we got married. It would have been supernaturally helpful to understand and participate in the fullness of this liturgical reality of the wedding ceremony in the Church. Had we been better formed and faithfully committed to the Church, it would have helped us in our state of life and allowed us to grow together better early on. We may have overcome many of our challenges sooner, but God is patient and kind and will work with us no matter where we are if we are willing. However, if spouses are not Catholic or Christian that does not diminish the real sacramental character of the wedding vows, as it is the presence of witnesses and the public character of the covenantal bond that protects the "I do" and assists the spouses in remaining faithful to this Sacrament (cf. CCC 1631). Even without knowledge of the faith, a man and a woman are still married together by God, as it is how God created man and woman to be one through marriage, and no worldly views can change that reality.

I would urge anyone who may be preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage not to underestimate the seriousness of the obstacles married couples face. From temptation to religious discord and family problems, faith will help the two overcome the many challenges that will occur. Although my wife and I became Catholic after we had gotten married, I found that the more I took my faith seriously, the more she began to take the Catholic faith more seriously as well, and likewise with our children. It has been a tremendous growing experience for both of us and our whole family over the years. One thing to remember is that marriage is a school of humility amidst difficulties, where faith meets trials and where patience and love are tested. In sickness and in health, couples undergo pain, suffering, and the torment of sin. This is much like Christ on the Cross, who bore the sin of mankind, and marriage is in this way like a crucible and a training ground for sainthood. It is within the bond of marriage that man and woman are often tested beyond their natural strengths and must rely on Christ or fall victim to sin and division. The weight of sin is felt by both spouses, who must together rely on God to move through the many difficulties that all married couples will inevitably face, but with God His grace will guide the way. 

We give thanks to God for the perpetual and exclusive nature of the Sacrament of Matrimony, for without this grace we would be broken by our tribulations. It is by this special sacrament that “authentic married love is caught up into divine love” (CCC 1639). The Wedding at Cana reminds us of our own union in Christ, for it is by His will that we are united. This unbreakable bond between a man and a woman is strengthened by the power of faith in Christ, trusting in Him above all things. Its indissolubility is something only God can do for humanity, not something man or woman can accomplish on their own. It requires a self-sacrificial view of marriage, which is the most challenging aspect.

Through grace it is possible for man and woman to ascend to the call reflected in the Holy Family. “By this grace they help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children” (CCC 1641). This calls for a life of holiness where, by the grace of God, we carry His cross through devotion, obedience, and discipleship. This attitude of servitude seeks first the will of God but is also acutely aware of the needs of one’s spouse. Christ is the source of this grace (cf. CCC 1642). “In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb” (CCC 1642). This is the blessing of a marriage founded on Christ’s mutual self-giving to the Church, the way spouses freely give themselves to one another.

It is through this unity in God that Jesus helps the two who have become one pick up each other’s cross and walk together in faith. “Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to lift up the other in grace, to ‘be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,’ and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love” (CCC 1642). Only God can make this happen, and it cannot be attained without one’s submission to the Holy Spirit. In that docility of the soul, the spouses find in Christ a mutual assurance that their marriage vows can be trusted. This requires a total abandonment of the heart for the other person, and this is where the real joy of marriage comes from. It is a training ground for sainthood and the refining work of the Holy Spirit.

The difficult part is admitting that I am often not the parent or the husband I am called to be. Yet Christ forgives us. He does not seek to condemn us but to restore us. When I acknowledge where I have fallen short, I trust that He knows my heart and mind—and the heart and mind of every person—and pours out His mercy where it is needed and sincerely sought. Still, this requires an honest examination of conscience, a willingness to confront our failures, and the humility to give one’s life more fully to Christ in faithful obedience so that we may continue to grow.

It is only through God’s definitive and irrevocable love that the human being can overcome the difficult task of binding oneself to another for life (cf. CCC 1648). This undertaking requires the gratitude and support of the Church community. Without this support, how can a man and a woman take on the task of total self-sacrifice for the betterment of one another in the Lord? It takes a village to raise a family, and it takes faith to unite one another.

It is through this unity in the Church that a husband and wife in Christ are prepared by God to grow through family life. “Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves” (CCC 1652). Through having children, both spouses are further united by the challenges of raising faithful disciples. This life is a crucible, and parents often struggle as the primary educators of their children in the faith. It is hard work to live as an example of Christ through obedience and prayer, but the mother and father must always lead their children closer to God through a familial and covenantal relationship. When the proper perspective is cultivated within the home, everyone grows together.

This is why the home is the “first Church” for children, the place of formation in faith. Yet it relies on the support of the entire Church community, and that can be hard to find. People are busy these days, and distracted. Many are simply caught up in life, moving from one thing to the next and failing to spend consistent, quality time with one another on a daily basis. This does not apply only to those who have children. Even those who cannot have children are called to a spiritual fruitfulness of charity, hospitality, and sacrifice, demonstrating that marriage can bring about the loving presence of the Lord as a radiant example for all.

The Ecclesia Domestica

What makes it most difficult to make the domestic church a reality in modern culture is that parents are far from perfect, and we all carry our own wounds from a fallen world. Often, it is the way of the world that has us caught up in a form of life that seeks accomplishments over authentic connection and well-being.

Mary, the Mother of God, demonstrates her “yes” to God in a humble, obedient, and natural way as the prime example for all women. She devoted her entire life to Jesus, her Son, and to her husband Joseph in God’s name. This is what makes the Holy Family holy: a dedication to one another despite the pressures and distractions of the world. The Holy Family; wife, mother, child, husband, and father presents a vision of God’s plan, ordained since the Immaculate Conception (cf. CCC 1655).

God intended a perfect love between humanity and Himself. Mary’s gift of bringing forth the Savior as her Son through her obedience to God stands as a sign for all mothers to offer themselves in loving service to their families.